Mama Dweeb

Tired, but can’t complain!

February 19, 2010 Family

I am wiped out.  I have worked so hard this past week, and so has Josh.  I have worked harder than I even realize and I know there are things I should do to improve (like make priorities, manage my time better) but at the end of the very stressful, exhausting and wonderful day I cuddle with my baby and say a prayer of thanks.

God has been teaching me so much as I have “grown up.” (I mean, do we ever really get “there”? Do we ever say, “Yes, now I am all grown up?”)  I have always struggled with saying no and setting reasonable boundaries for myself.  I want to please others so badly and feel like I am the only one in the entire universe that can meet their need so I must do it. When I was a freshman in college this led to me overworking myself and letting lots of people down in the process, as I dropped the many balls I was juggling.

So I have started to be completely honest with people. Have you tried this? It isn’t easy! It means admitting your faults and *gasp* not letting them think you are perfect! Yikes! So recently a very close friend of mine asked me to watch her 2 boys for her so she could go back to work (for my husband as the office administrator). I was 100% honest. I told her that I would be ok with it but not for 8 hours a day, maybe 4 at the most. No matter how hard I try, I cannot watch anyone else’s children longer than 4 hours at a time. I go crazy.  Literally. I then resent my friend and it all ends badly. To prevent any of this I told her I have my limits. And she agreed to pay me with babysitting my kids whenever I needed.

These are her two children – JJ is 3 years old and Shawn is 15 months old.  They are boys through and through!  I am so thankful that my friend listened to my honesty and respected it.  I have tried watching other people’s children before – even a very well behaved girl that would fall asleep by just putting her in the crib at nap time! But for some reason I can’t handle long periods of time.  So Tasha agreed to limit it to 4 hours a day.

And by the end of the night, when everyone is finally asleep and the house is quiet save for the clicking of my keyboard, I realize just how tired I really am. The Lord says to do everything without complaining or arguing. He knows what He is talking about.  Complaining breeds strife, but problem solving and good old prayer flips an attitude upside down! No matter how tiring it is to watch all 4 children at once I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  With Tasha back at work Josh’s stress is decreased a thousand times. Josh being less stressed makes him more helpful at home, easing my load.  So in the end, God is watching out for me.

I’ll tell you what. When it is naptime, this mama is outta here mister!  I am still working on finding creative ways to help Lizzie relax enough to fall asleep at the same time as David (and me).  Sometimes a movie helps, others cuddling with us.  When both kids sleep at the same time I want to jump for joy but choose to snooze right along with them! Yes, my life has become quite tiring lately, but I sure do appreciate sleep so much more!

Tags: Bible, David, Family, Lizzie