She doesn’t exist, I promise, She’s a UHO.

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I call her a UHO.  Unproven Housekeeping Object.  She arises before dawn, dresses beautifully, complete with makeup and pressed clothes – even accessories. Joyfully she glances at her perfectly organized meal plan and begins working on breakfast for her family.  As it is cooking, she starts in on the days chores so they do not get out of her control.  In perfect time she wakes up the rest of the house and feeds them. As squabbles and discipline problems arise she is able to carefully handle them with a clear mind and stable emotions.  She delights in the fact that she is able to homeschool her children and loves every single minute of it.  Her husband is thrilled with the site of her – she finds time to exercise and only feeds her family organic, whole foods 100% of the time. No processed or sugar-infested junk in this house!

Before going to bed, this UHO can look around her house and breath the relaxing breath of a job well done. Her floors sparkle, her sinks shine. The closets are neatly packed with folded and pressed clothes and the laundry baskets are empty. Why, you could put her house in Home & Garden magazine right now!

She never loses her temper, and if she does it is only but for a brief while. She loves every minute of staying home and caring for her family and helping her husband in every way she can.

What the freak ever.

If you are a stay at home mom, does any of this ring true with you?

Reality?

I stay in bed as long as humanly possible. I open my eyes grudgingly to the sound of my 3 year old saying, “Mommy, can I make oatmeal?” and am half tempted to say yes, but remember what happened the last time I said that. I get out of bed and pour her a bowl of Super-duper-sugar-high-crap and sit to wake up. I hear the baby crying and go get her. Then, after pouring David a bowl of the same sugar stuff I turn on PBS and nurse baby on the couch. After waking up a bit I remember I need to get dressed, so I throw on some clean pants and shirt and brush my hair. The ransacking begins – the toys are dumped out and “mine!” SCREAMMMM cryyyy waillll, starts.  Referee. Call Josh.  Breathe.  Wish preschool was 5 days a week.

I breath and eat a granola bar. Then I try and make cleaning a game. This lasts for a good while and we get something done. Then baby cries. Change diaper and nurse time. Splash! Cry…..”No no baby David!” Put baby Lucy down to clean up havoc in bathroom.

Put on a movie. Let it play on repeat. Remind yourself that 4 hours of television won’t harm children as much as you want to harm them, so they are good. Then dinner? oh yeah….um, pop in a frozen pizza.

It changes day to day. Some days are better than others. Some  mornings I wake up before everyone and am dressed before they are! I can actually drink a cup of coffee before they are done eating their cereal and God refreshes my mind. Others I feel like sanity is a bone hanging in front of my nose like a dog on the race track.

That woman I am constantly comparing myself to? Doesn’t exist.  UHO.  In the craziness I find time to laugh, and the laughter releases endorphins that help me cope with the impending “my world is going to end cause she has my toy” scenarios.  Lizzie’s current favorite movie is “Despicable Me” and she dances with the little girls on it. At the end of the movie I get up and we all boogie!

We play tag, we laugh. We eat cereal on a bowl that I had to handwash over a pile of other dirty dishes.  We snuggle on a couch overloaded with laundry.  And we read books in a toy room that is a walking hazard. But she will remember the snuggles, not the couch; the books, not the sticky floor.  And that UHO? She only exists on my mind, not my children’s.  To them, I am the perfect mother and so are you to yours!

Written by:: Annie

Annie Shultz has written 2041 post in this blog.

She is THE Mama Dweeb :) She created this blog back in 2009 and loves to inspire and connect with others through her writing. She also loves talking, dreaming, 90s pop and country music.

Comments

  1. says

    haha. i agree. Brighton loves Peter Pan right now. We watch it like 5 times a day sometimes. My new years goal was to have the sink clear always. It’s working, but sometimes the dishwasher stays full for a while. lol. it helped when we moved all of brighton’s toys to the basment so at least the upstairs is half clean…
    good post.

  2. AmberD says

    Oh Annie I love it!!! What a wonderful post and reminder to those of us that get down about our messy, sugar, filled lives. A reminder I really needed right now. Thank you.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      I needed it too! My writing is totally therapeutic…..so you read me counseling myself LOL!! I find myself comparing myself to this “perfection” that does not exist. Amber, even if we don’t feel like perfection, we are perfection because we do our hardest to provide the best life for our kids.

      And btw your house is too clean. hehehehe

  3. says

    I love it! :) My life seems a lot like yours and while I still wish the UHO would somehow take over my body…I’m doing the best I can! :)

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      I wish the UHO would take over my body too! Maybe then my 3yo would have brushed hair before going to preschool? LOL!

  4. says

    So true! The illusion of perfect is a dangerous mirage. I am just trying to keep my cups of coffee down to 2 a day and I feel victorious when I accomplish my goal. =) I have no such standards for chocolate.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      oh my goodness, my friend introduced me to these dark chocolate covered nuts! They are to die for. And they make me feel good about eating them because dark chocolate has anti-oxidents and nuts have protein….so you know, guilt free.

      Thank you for the encouraging words!

  5. says

    I love the quote “Just do your best and forget the rest!” And I totally agree that our children won’t remember the laundry piled up or the sticky floor, they’ll remember how much we giggled together.

  6. says

    ” To them, I am the perfect mother and so are you to yours!”

    That is the point that doesn’t jive with me….but then, mine is a teenager. Enough said about that, right? LOL

    I do look back fondly on those days when my children thought I hung the moon. And it’s true you know…you’re gonna miss that one day.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Oh I am not looking forward to the teen years! Not one single bit. I have heard that these days are the easy ones. Goody.

  7. says

    Oh how i wish you could see the pile of clean clothes i need to fold as well as the cloth diapers drying while hung over the living room furniture lol… I loved this post!

  8. says

    I hate to say it, but I’m copying the first paragraph…it’s my ideal. I’m weird, I know :)

    To be honest, your actual day sounds good too. It sounds like you have fun and lots of love as a family.

  9. says

    By the way, that 50’s woman was also not supposed to say anything to her husband if he stayed out late, went out socially without her, or even stayed out all night (not kidding- it’s from How to Be a Perfect Wife- by Good Housekeeping- printed in the 50’s) so while I look up to her, I don’t admire stupidity or the men (yes, MEN were the editors of that woman’s magazine) who tried to force women into that kind of enslavement,

    I wouldn’t be that type of woman for a man who didn’t come home at night.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      I have read that list and WOW it is RIDICULOUS!

      Re: your first comment, I too look up to my first paragraph and strive to be it. But what really gets me and drags me down with anxiety is when I stop “trying” and start seeing my failures. There is a fine line between striving for a goal and just getting all depressed/stressed out when you see how you are not reaching it. So this is me telling myself that the ideal I have hated myself for not getting – yeah it isn’t going to happen 100% of the time, so get over it LOL!!

      But I still get up, get dressed, cook meals with love for my family (there is so much love in a frozen pizza) and reassure myself that the laundry on the floor will be there tomorrow.

      • says

        OK, I have read the post and some of the comments. I think Ashlee needs to get off her high horse. It’s not very Christ-like to judge others now is it? And being an Army wife, well, she’s obviously one who drinks the Kool Aid. I’ve come across them often. The ones who are so holier than thou. They clean their house better than everyone else. They handle deployments better than everyone else. She’s probably also one of the mean girls of her FRG guessing by her judgy attitude seen here. It’s not mediocrity we’re striving for dear disillusioned Ashlee. It’s sanity. Sorry if the majority of us just can’t live up to your perfect expectations. Yes, my house too is cluttered. *GASP* I spend time each day working with my youngest son on his speech because he needs extra help. My days are spent managing the 2 OCD routines of my autistic sons, making sure I do everything just so to avoid as many meltdowns as I can. Yes, I generally put myself last. You know where that got me? EXHAUSTED. Medically exhausted. Yes, I now have a medical condition that has gone on so long not taken care of because I put everyone in my house else first that I’m now playing catch up with my health. I’m no good to anyone in my family if I’m not healthy. It’s OK to put your family first to a point, but there also comes a point where we also have to take care of ourselves as well. I can’t be a very good mom or wife if I end up in the hospital, now can I? Some people need to take off their Judgy McSuperior pants and get realistic.

  10. Ashlee says

    I feel I must comment on this post, on behalf of us Mom’s out there who are completely offended by the lack of care you invest in your family’s lives and the fact that mediocrity seems to be all to common, and perfectly acceptable, for you. Let me tell you, mediocrity is neither acceptable nor Christ-like. Perhaps you should read Proverbs 31. You have chosen to be a stay at home mom, which means it is your JOB in life to fully and totally devote yourself to your family. To ALWAYS put them first, and yourself last.
    I am a stay at home mom, and I am an army wife, I spend every other year of my life without my husband because he is deployed to Iraq. I rejoice daily that I have another waking day to spend in my home, doing my JOB. I am by no means a perfect person, or a perfect mother. But I do have the absolute best home and family that I can, because that’s what I strive for.
    You have so much, your husband does so much for you, and yet you do nothing to return that. Your husband has built you a beautiful house, and you repay him by leaving clutter and trash all over, laudry piled on the couch, and piles of dishes in the sink. You have a husband who works daily to provide for you and he comes home to an unkept household. How selfish can you be?? Do you not think the man in your life deserves beter than that?
    You seriously need a reality check. How many hours do you spend on the computer daily, how many times do you update twitter daily, how long do you spend on your phone daily? Those are precious hours that you should be devoting to your family. You need to make your family, your home, and your husband a priority in your life. Please some day, realize that mediocrity is a horrible thing to strive for.
    I also must point out that I am not just a random reader that has no idea what you and your life is like personally. I do know you, and have spent time with you. So I feel as someone who has seen into your life, or at least the one you want people to think you are living, that I should tell you what you really look like to those of us that do strive for the best we can be each moment of the day.

    • says

      I would just like to say the word “mediocre” is in the eyes of the beholder. Just like I think you are barely a mediocre person for posting such a hateful, rude and “un-Christ like” comment such as that horrid display of “friendship”

      Maybe you should not spend so much time on this blog being a “regular reader” and go focus on your family and what they were doing while you wrote that F grade novel.

      I don’t understand “Christians” like you, who think they are better than everyone else…isn’t it Gods job to judge? Not yours as a mere human? Think about that, with your knowledge of the bible I am sure you can find a quote that serves my point.

      Sincerely,

      Another mother who has a cluttered house.

      Nina

    • says

      OMG, did this just happen? Did “Ashlee” just really say this to you? Annie I have never met a person greater than you in my life. I love the Christian judgement that “Ashlee” puts on you in this comment. Apparently she needs to brush up on the bible, Matthew 7 to be exact. Jesus tells us that if we judge to do so righteously. Because there is surely a plank in your own eye. I feel “Ashlee” may need some big tweezers!

      Lee

    • says

      @Ashlee – Man, whatever your doctor is prescribing you, can I have some? It must feel nice to live such a perfect life, be the perfect mom and the perfect doormat.

      @Annie – Keep your chin up girl, us mediocre moms have to stick together.

    • says

      wow, you are not a UHO, your term starts with a capital B. How can you quote the bible and tear someone down like that at the same time- very Christian of you. Maybe the bigger thing to do if you really feel that way would be to offer support or friendship, although after that comment I wouldn’t be surprised if that offer got rejected.

    • says

      Oh my goodness someone is NOT having a good day! Ashlee you should be ashamed of yourself for leaving such a rude comment on Annie’s blog. VERY un-Christ like in my opinion. Don’t for one second tell us that you have NEVER had kids that fight or disobey you, loads of laundry needing to be done, dishes in the sink and a hubby with no dinner on the table. Puh-lease! And this does NOT mean I am lazy at all. I work my butt off like all the ladies above me, but maybe not you??

      • says

        Well, from one mediocre clutter homed mama to another,
        “Ashlee” needs to step off her high horse. I have 2 children, 4 and 2, not that that matters, but since I’m a mediocre mother and all, figured I’d bring them into this comment. My “typically” developing 4 year old and my 2 year old has Cerebral Palsy. Yes, my house is clutter filled because I am spending my time being a decent (albeit mediocre mother). I read books, I talk, we sing, we go for walks, we do FUN things like baking. And yes, there are crumbs on my floor and sometimes we stay in our pajama’s. But to me? That’s WORTH IT. To see my girls SMILE and LOVE me, fills me more than being a mediocre mother. And you know what else? I’ve HAD social services visit me and they have said they worry MORE about the parents with immaculate homes then the ones that are a little cluttered, since obviously us mediocre moms can’t do it all, it’s either a clean house or happy children. And for me? I take happy children.

    • says

      How very Christlike of Ashlee to weigh in with her criticisms and judgement. At least we know she wastes no time online.

      Men tend to love calm, happy wives much better than prissy hypocrites, and Proverbs 31 woman was not written by Jesus, or indicated as his ideal of a woman. He actually preferred a Mary type of woman to a Martha, and I’m sure any man would prefer to be married to a sweet Annie than to a critical Ashlee.

      I hope women like Ashlee pray for Christ to take the jealousy and judgement out of their heart, since she has a husband who deserves better (he’s in the military, those men work hard and sacrifice and should be able to come home to a kind-hearted, sweet woman, not a nasty-hearted grinch).

    • Sheila says

      Ashlee,
      How DARE you refer to yourself as a Christian woman then sit there and spew the filth and negative things about Annie. The Bible is full of verses about hypocrites.

      For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he hath gained, when God taketh away his soul? – Job 27:8

      With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth. – Psalms 35:!6

      An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.- Proverbs 11:9

      For the vile person will speak villany, and his heart will work iniquity, to practise hypocrisy, and to utter error against the LORD, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and he will cause the drink of the thirsty to fail.- Isaiah 32:6

      Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.- Matthew 7:5

      To name several. A Godly woman would be offering Annie help if she needed it, I think she is a great mom and a great person and just because you have some “issue” with her doesn’t give you the right to act like you are better than her, cause sorry sweetheart, this might be a rude awaking but you ARE NOT. If you don’t like Annie for some reason which is really hard to believe because she is so wonderful keep it to your self. Don’t stalk her blog and focus your negative thoughts and opinions on something useful like go knit something.

    • says

      Kids will remember a happy mom not one who spent her days scrubbing floors and shining silver to put on a facade of a happy home. At the end of the day you will look back on your life wondering how did I get here when all you know is how to clean and make everyone other then yourself happy. Get a grip woman we aren’t living in the 50’s anymore.

    • says

      I’m gonna come over to “Ashlee’s” house and see exactly how she lives her life and then nitpick at every.last.thing. You’re not too “Christ-like”, now are you – judging someone who loves her children and husband and works her butt off for them. Mediocre? I’m sorry, but I actually KNOW Annie and have spent time with her, and I know what a dedicated mother and wife she is, and how hard she works.

      Remember, “Judge not, lest you be judged” (that’s loosely termed since I don’t claim to be Christian or go to church or anything like that) – because trust me honey, your true colors that you commented with sure don’t make me want to think much of you as a human being. I’m sure you’re better than that, so why don’t you try to act like it? Worry about your own life and not so much about how others choose to live theirs – especially when they’re doing just fine the way they’re doing it.

    • says

      I love how you are quoting the bible. Christ-like? Christ would not scold or treat Annie the way you did through the above comment. Since you know her in real life and aren’t just a “random commenter”, wouldn’t the Christ-like thing to do would be to send a message like, “Hey Annie, do you need anything? I am here for you, what can I do. Do you want to talk?” THAT is what Jesus would do. It sounds like you are trying to cover up your own imperfections by telling others how to live. Raising young kids, especially when husbands work 60 hours a week or are overseas is one of the toughest jobs. Us moms need to stick together and help each other through the tough times.

    • says

      Ashlee, shame on you for using Christ as a way to be judgmental and intolerant. I think we know a different Lord because I cannot imagine Him treating one of his daughters the way you just treated a fellow human being.

      Shame on you.

      And as a military spouse from a long line of military family, you also need to learn to have more respect for yourself and for your freedoms as woman and a spouse. Your thinking is against everything our military fights for on a daily basis.

    • says

      I honestly can’t believe I just read what I read! Ashlee…get real! You wrote “To ALWAYS put them first, and yourself last.” OMG…do you know what you are doing to yourself AND YOUR FAMILY for doing that?? Your priorities are way out of whack and when you burn out someday from being perfect….just remember this comment you left for Annie about not being the perfect mom! The perfect mom is the one who is not cleaning the house 24/7, letting the laundry go for a day…AND SPENDING TIME CUDDLING, READING AND BEING A MOM!!!

      I promise you will wake up someday, burned out from being that “perfect” mom…how do I know this…I tried being that “perfect” mom for 8 years and then I cracked…my kids, (babies then) missed out on me because I was too busy cleaning so that I had that perfect house. If I could do it all over again, I would let the house go so that my babies could have a mom that wasn’t so uptight when the house was a mess.

      Annie…perfect post…love ya girl!

    • says

      WOW! I wish I was as perfect as Ashlie! Must be nice to live in a fantasy world and be able to judge others while hiding behind a computer screen instead of stepping up and being a friend and true Christian that doesn’t judge but yet helps and is there for support.

      Annie, I know you are doing the best you can for you and YOUR family! Don’t listen to haters that like to put others down to make themselves feel/look better while taking the spot light off of themselves because they know they are not perfect. Chin up girly! All mothers, whether they admit it or not, at one point or another feel they aren’t doing their best when truly in the eyes of the Lord they are. Everyone is different, He knows that! God never gives you more than you can handle. ((hugs))

    • Jen says

      I really don’t buy this BS! I don’t care what this woman says! I am sure she has to be having some issues and wants to act like she has everything in control to make herself feel better! Annie, please don’t let this person upset you! Your a great wife, mom and FRIEND!

    • says

      what’s that saying? Those who live in glass houses should not throw bricks? Miss hides behind jesus Ashlee could easily find herself with clutter or mess happening someday and boy how she would hate herself then. There’s another saying – a clean house is a sign of a boring woman. Annie is much better of with a mess and an interesting life.

    • Sarah says

      Ashlee, I don’t know you but I have to say from this comment that you are one of the meanest people I’ve ever seen. I’d rather have trash all over my house and be the kind of person Annie is than have everything perfect and be the kind of person you are. When you get to heaven, God will not ask you how clean your house is. But he WILL ask you how you treated others. Have you ever once asked if Annie needed help, or reached out to her except with venom? I suspect I already know the answer.

  11. says

    I don’t think Ashlee knows you at all. I have a feeling she might even be a little jealous – as she sure seems to keep tabs on what you are doing. Women have come a long way since the 50’s. It is okay to not be “perfect”. None of us are, but that does not mean that we do not love our family, our homes, etc. Life is too short to be so cynical – I think someone else needs a reality check, not you.

  12. says

    I love this… only because this is EXACTLY how I feel right now. I chuckle at the thought of letting my kid make oatmeal. Because as I was half-asleep nursing on the couch the other day, my 2 yo tried to pour milk into his own cereal.. which was a big mess.
    I also can relate to the 4 hours of TV watching… lately i’ve been on the phone a TON and have needed my 2yo to cooperate. what keeps him happy?? Chuggington. Little Einsteins, and Monsters, Inc. They play on repeat all day.

    I’m starting to get over the UHO too… my husband agrees that right now I have several full time jobs – Mom, Blogger, House Purchaser (we’re closing friday on a new home and i’m doing ALL of the paperwork) and we’re selling our current home, which is a whole other stack of paperwork. There is not enough time in the day to get this all done plus do the dishes and make dinner…
    I threw in a pizza last night, and tonight had frozen lasanga. But you know what?? My family loves those meals – and take-out when there are no dishes left… Those are our nights of laughter and we thank God for those special nights where we can laugh about how crazy hectic life is, and that we’ll get to cleaning ‘tomorrow’.
    I’m happy to hear that I’m not the only one in this situation! Thanks for that great re-assurance.

    Side Note: If my friends from Church had concerns about the way I am raising my children *because clearly they have all their shit together* I would serioulsy hope that they would express their concern with a loving ‘How can I help you ? Babysitting for you to spend some time playing catch-up? Do you need a date night to get the romance back with your husband to get you motivated? let me take the kids… Can I cook you a meal, so you can relax for an evening??’ or other friendly gestures like that. If they had a true concern, they would bring it up to you in person, not on your blog post where you’re clearly just explaining that you love your kids, but you’re not “Mrs. Suzy Homemaker” and that you’re ok with that.
    It sounds more like a burn-out to me, because that’s exactly what i’m feeling, and its like you’re writing a post on my thoughts and emotions. I actually had to show the post to my husband because I wanted him to read how my brain is working right now.
    Keep your Chin UP! and like you said, your kids will love you for the fun times you’re having together, not the mess.

    • says

      I LOVE this post! I have often felt like I had to live up an illusion of the “perfect” mom. It took me a few years to realize that having my hair done up, make-up plastered on my face, designer clothes and a freakisly clean house is NOT a reality. Like I said, it’s an illusion.

      I know many moms that appear “perfect”. These are the same moms who have a cleaning service come in a few times per week, spend their husband’s hard earned $$$ on their hair, nails and shopping for themselves. Tell me, how does that make them a perfect mom? If you ask me THESE are the kind of people who are selfish.

      I clean several times per week. Currently I can see dust. It’s a part of life. I have things that need to go to the recycling dumpster in the kitchen. There are two dirty cups in the sink. Our food pantry is a mess. SO WHAT!!!!! Who the hell cares. Last I checked Martha Stewart was not coming to pay me a visit.

      My husband and kids don’t care about a spotless house or my lip stick being a perfect shade to match the outfit I am wearing. My family cares that I am there for them 24/7. My family is healthy. My kids do well in school. My husband loves me more then life it’s self. Others comment on how nice it is to see a famliy that does so many things together, even if it’s something simple like going for a walk around the lake or stroll by the river.

      When my kids are older I can bet you any amount of money that they will NEVER EVER remember dust, laundry that needs to be folded, dirty dishes in the sink or the frozen pizza we had for dinner one night.

      Anyone who thinks they are “perfect” has some serious self esteem issues. NO ONE IS PERFECT! If you think you are then you need some serious couseling. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT! Especially being a mom. We are human. If you think you are above that then I think you should get back on the mother ship and return to the planet that you came from.

      Like others said, ONLY GOD has the right to judge anyone and I am pretty certain that he will look more at the loving, quality time spent with a family rather then a freakishly cleaned house.

      Stepping off my soapbox now…

  13. says

    Kids don’t stay little forever. Enjoy them while you can- the housework will always be there.

    Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
    Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
    Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
    Sew on a button and butter the bread.

    Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
    She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

    Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
    Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
    Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
    Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

    The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
    And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
    But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
    Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
    Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

    The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
    But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
    So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
    I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

    – Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

  14. says

    Annie I don’t think I could do it half as good as you! I have my problems with just 2 of them! You win the mother of the year award in my lives,. And if you ever need someone just let me know and I’m here for you!

  15. says

    I no longer have little ones in the house and my house gets cluttered. I grew up in a home where my mom was there for me when I needed and wanted her. My dad didn’t want a showcase house that was perfect in every way. He wanted a house he could relax in and put his feet up if he wanted. My husband’s the same way. I could be the neat freak and dust/vacuum daily but that would take the fun out of me. I wouldn’t be the person he fell in love with and the person who doesn’t have a problem with dropping a chore at a moment’s notice to do something fun.

    Chores can wait, the clutter will still be there tomorrow and the 7 course meal can be found in a restaurant. Years from now your children won’t remember anything except that they had the best mom in the world who did things with and for them.

  16. says

    I love you, Annie! You love your children and your husband and to me that IS a UHO! Your children won’t remember the messy house but will remember the love and care you show them!

  17. Vickie says

    Dear Sweet Perfect Annie, It is a blessing to see how loved you are by so many. Hold your head high with the grace of the woman you are. We are all proud of you and pulling for you as a young mother doing the best she can. iI applaud you for your honesty and forthrightness that gives others the courage to say how it is for them as well. You are a roll model for telling it like it is. Kudos to you.
    It is unfortunate that the one person being so negative happens to own a computer.

  18. says

    Annie I think you’re doing a great job. My grandma use to say that the house wasn’t a home unless it had a little clutter. Your kids are happy and healthy and your family knows you LOVE them and that’s what is most important. Keep your head up cause you are doing an awesome job.

  19. says

    I am a professional. Been a foster parent for 8 years. My caseworker told me early and often that she “really worries” when houses with kids in them are perfect and neat ALL. THE. TIME. She isn’t the only one who has said it, well there was that 22 yr old fresh from college one who thought a toybox for each kid wasn’t enough, but she’ll learn. All the kids are in school now and the weeks are pretty clean, although it takes three days to recover from the weekend chaos. But the kids are fed, clothed and snuggled every day. I think that’s what counts.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      That is such a good point! I never thought about it from a case worker’s perspective. It does take awhile to recoup from having all the kids at home during the day I bet! I cannot wait for the day when my kids are in school all day.

      But then that country song plays in my head, “You’re Gonna Miss This….You’re Gonna Want this back….You’re Gonna wish these days, hadn’t gone by so fast!”

  20. says

    Thank you for this post! I needed it. Turns out that I’m typing this reply from my couch overloaded with laundry (that’s been there for a week). I remember once when a lady that I always thought of as a UHO posted a pic on FB of her laundry pile… a huge, massive pile of wrinkly clothes, taking up her entire bed! Her caption was “a little behind on folding.” That’s when I realized that even the perfect moms aren’t perfect.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      I am so glad it helped! You have no idea how much I struggle with comparing myself to others. I have done so my entire life. Then, God put a lightbulb off in my head – the people I compare myself to, aren’t real! Every single mother struggles with anxiety over something, feeling not good enough mainly.

      No, our worth is not found in how much better we can keep our house than someone else, or even if we can get the clothes into the dryer before they mildew (thank goodness!) Our worth is in the love we give our families and the love God has for us. You are so dead on – even the perfect moms are not perfect!

  21. says

    HA! I am a stay at home mom & I want to know where these UHO’s exist..lol. I do the best I can and sometimes cant finish all my housework or remembering to make appt for which kids but in the end my husband and kids love me the same, whether or not dinner was cooked by me or a restaurant. LOL

  22. says

    This made my day better! I only have one child, but sometimes I feel like I am the only mother that lets him play video games or watch something so I can play on the computer.

  23. says

    O MY, GOODAYS AND O MY GOD DAYS, MY CHILDREN ARE OLDER NOW 11 14 AND 16 , SO TAKE THOSE BABY DAYS AS A GIFT , BECAUSE WHEN THEY BECOME TEENAGERS YOUL REALLY GOING TO PULL YOUR HAIR OUT, LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER ONCE TOLD ME , WHEN THE CHILDREN ARE SMALL THEY MESS WITH YOUR MIND , BUT WHEN THEY ‘RE OLDER THEY PULL ON YOUR HEART. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT ONE DAY YOUL SAY WHERE DID THE TIME GO AND YOUL BE THINKIN BACK HOW U MISS YOUR BABIES………

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  1. […] She doesn’t exist, I promise. She’s a UHO – MamaDweeb I call her a UHO.  Unproven Housekeeping Object.  She arises before dawn, dresses beautifully, complete with makeup and pressed clothes – even accessories. Joyfully she glances at her perfectly organized meal plan and begins working on breakfast for her family….. […]

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