People tell stories of their grandest moments. They emphasize their smallest struggles and try to flaunt them as their heaviest. They brag about their happiness – but all of it is dishonest, to a point. Whitewashing, if you will.
Then I, in my immaturity, compare my weakness and struggles to their glistening triumphs and fail to measure up.
Forget it.
I’m going to embrace my humanity and honesty. Life is hard and life with children is harder! Going to bed with a sticky floor does not a failure make. Leaving the house to go for a run as soon as Josh comes home or enjoying a glass of wine with him to unwind does not mean I am subpar.
In fact, it is me being human. Being real. And keeping myself nurtured and cared for.
There are beautifully happy days and crummy, exhausting days. On the days where the kids can’t stop screaming, the house is swallowing me whole and my skin starts to crawl – I am still a successful mom. Cause bad days happen. I call Josh, tell him working late is not going to work, and leave for some time out of the house. I return relaxed and refocused. I kiss my babies and do a load of dishes.
Meltdowns happen. Dirty houses happen. Convenient food that you didn’t prepare from scratch happens. And yes – being stressed out from parenting and needing a separated time of quiet happens! I’m done feeling like a failure just because I don’t have perfect days all the time.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Annie, you are 100% right! People are beautiful because they are real – and if someone expects a parent to be cheerful/happy/satisfied all the time he has to be surprised it is not always so. Having kids has its ups and downs and so does every parent…Sometimes its more ups and sometimes its more downs but it does not matter, as you said, that someone is a bad parent.
Thank you Alexandra! I love what you said here – that people are beautiful because they are real
Your right, girl! We can’t be perfect, The people that try to be have more issues then the ones that are real.
Yes, they do, Annie! And you are AWESOME just the way you are! I really believe you are doing what’s right for you (and for the record, it works for me, too!) and THAT is why it’s good!
Perfect days? Do those really even exist? I doubt it. Like you, my days are filled with some fabulous moments and some that make me feel like I wish I’d never had kids. Somewhere between the best and worst moments is a balance that makes it all worth it.
Thank you for letting me feel normal…and dont drop by as the house is trashed.
You my love are NOT a failure, I am proud of you for realizing though that bad days, cranky days, messy days don’t make you any less awesome.
OMG. I literally wrote a post yesterday for Kid Pointz called “Letting go of perfect” – this is such a timely topic!
Perfection is not reality. Glad you are letting it go. You’ll be so happy!
I am right there with you! I have been sucked into that notion that I have to be that perfect super mom that can handle anything. We can’t. I can’t. I am not perfect, and if you come to my house, you may just see how imperfect life really is around here.
Absolutely! I’m right there with you! I struggle with all of the craziness of “perfect parenting” and try so hard to keep the house clean, keep a job, a blog, and not let the kids watch TV all day!
It’s TOUGH!
When my husband gets home, I’m exhausted! I need to let a lot go – and then we can all be happier
What you said about embracing our humanity completely nails it. Everyone tries to be perfect. But no one actually is. And it’s perfectly human to not be perfect. I think this philosophy applies to every arena in life.