His and hers budget differences

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Just for fun, I made up this graphic illustration of how Josh and I see money differently. This idea popped into my head as I was sitting down and figuring out our family budget. I stared at the screen and picked up my phone.

“Um, Josh? So….I think I’m gonna have to cut you off from fun money for the rest of the month…”

Josh: Β “Why? How much did I spend?”

Me: “Well….let’s just say it was quite a bit more than I spent…”

Josh: “Yeah, but my fun money feeds us. And protects us.”

Then we started talking about the delicious trout and venison, and he had a point! But still – is it just us, or is your marriage the same way?

Josh is able to justify his fun money, and I just cannot justify mine. What, those yoga pants make me feel more relaxed, and a more relaxed mom makes for a happier home. So really, an increase in clothing budget means an increase in overall home happiness!

Doesn’t work.

But fishing – memories with the kids, food! Menards – memories with the kids, tools for building my basement addition! *cough cough JOSH* So the more he spends on fun, the more memories the kids make with daddy, and the more food we eat and the closer my basement gets to completion.

Ok, that last one – the basement – is a joke. But a good try, Josh.

I just don’t feel like what I enjoy spending money on for myself – salon, clothes, Starbucks – benefits the family in any way like Josh thinks his does. Wait, Starbucks is what keeps me awake, so it is imperative to the health of my children. But the salon and clothes and eating out? Notsomuch.

So that is how it goes down here. Is it the same for you and your spouse? Does one of you have an easier time justifying purchases than the other?

Written by:: Annie

Annie Shultz has written 2054 post in this blog.

She is THE Mama Dweeb πŸ™‚ She created this blog back in 2009 and loves to inspire and connect with others through her writing. She also loves talking, dreaming, 90s pop and country music.


    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Normally we do exactly that, Melissa. I was just talking about how between the two of us, Josh has an easier time justifying his purchases while I feel hesitant to spend even the budgeted amount of fun money I get. And that made me wonder if other marriages were the same way. Just wanted to chat about how you see money. Does one person have an easier time spending than the other?

  1. says

    Okay, I love this- especially his ammo budget. I think this is common in most families as money is the #1 reason people fight. Maybe he should shift 5% of his budget over to keeping Mama happy. Just saying…

  2. Tammy S says

    We have the same issue. My getting a hair cut is not as imposrtant as him going to Home Depot. Whatever he buys will be used to fix something around the house. The funny part for us is that he will talk and talk and talk about how much he is going to spend and on what. I on the other hand just spend it. We are both good about not going over our budget though. So your budget situation is the same as mine in many ways.

  3. says

    Nope. We both spend our fun money on things that are not easily justifiable. And we make it a point to not have to justify our fun money purchases. We don’t have a set amount set aside for fun purchases/spending each month but we do have an agreement that if either of us wants to purchase something under a certain dollar amount, say for example $20, than there is no need to discuss the purchase or justify it to each other. Obviously this only works because we both are strict with actually making frivolous purchases so that we don’t go nuts spending $$$.

  4. says

    I love seeing the differences! I would love to do this with my hubs! Did you use mint? My hubs would have similar ammunition $$ I am sure! He does give me a bit of a hard time about how much it costs to get my hair done as compared to him… but he’s over it. That reminds me – I haven’t had my hair cut since before baby!!

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      This is not an exact graph, it is based primarily on feelings LOL I just did a super quick pie chart in Google docs spreadsheet to show Josh how I felt we viewed money differently. He has less issues having a larger fun money budget and I am the first to give up my fun money to pay bills. πŸ™‚

  5. says

    Yes. My husband does a much better job at justifying spending money! Really the only thing I buy are books, yarn, chocolate and copious amounts of bottled iced tea. The chocolate is a necessity in my book but I know that he doesn’t see it that way. I’ve gotten a little more conscious of my fun money spending but I still can’t justify it the way he can. My arguments are slim at best and he knows it!

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Chocolate IS a need. It is food. And hey – an aphrodisiac too LOL surely THEN he will see it as a need πŸ™‚

  6. says

    lol. I think my husband’s budget would look a lot like yours. Well, add in a tech budget wedge, too. Right now with ammunition being so hard to get my DH has been stocking up. Ugh. I do appreciate that he protects his family and his homestead, but… Well, I spend my extra money on baby stuff and crafting supplies. Maybe we are even?

  7. says

    Lately neither one of us has had fun money. We’ve been stretched pretty thin and just incredibly grateful to cover required expenses. However, when we do have extra money I never feel the need to justify my expense and don’t ask my husband to justify his. We both work hard and deserve to have a little fun money now and then.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      oooh I forgot to put a “Kid’s Fun money” wedge on there for me. You are so right. I will go out to eat cause “The kids are hungry.” But if it is just me? I go home and eat. Or at the mall and I end up at Gymboree…..instead of The Gap….yeah πŸ™‚

  8. says

    I’m the fun money “Josh” in my marriage and my husband is the “Annie”….and as I talk to my friends, I think that there always seems to be that kind of push and pull going on. One spouse is more careful than the other with the budget and the fun money spending. I don’t think it’s just you at all!!!

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      LOL!! Thanks for that support πŸ™‚ You are so right. It does happen – and I am glad we are paired up like that….if we both spent money without hesitation, well….LOL πŸ™‚

  9. Ari says

    This is very interesting to examine! I feel your chart is very financially savvy, Annie. Josh’s budget seems to be more into the here and now. I guess men do just think differently about how money is spent or what it’s spent on.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Yeah, it is definitely Josh’s personality to live in the moment, and I am more of a planner. But while this has some small issues, it comes in very handy when plans change. And they do! He is able to go with the flow….I tend to freak out LOL

  10. says

    so interesting, i’ve never really thought about it. i’m pretty heavy on my own fun spending, so i may be the trouble spot. but it’s not like a guy needs shoes like a woman does, right?! πŸ™‚

  11. says

    Hahaha, loved the charts! It so unfair, don’t you think? I think whatever makes you happy keeps the whole family together so your “fun money” should be the most important part of the budget! πŸ˜‰

  12. Rich Hicks says

    Ahhhh, ongoing family budget battles. They never go away and each will justify their expenses. Happens to us all the time. Just stay within your budget……otherwise put that immediate gratification off til the kitty is full again!

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Rich, very wise words! I need to relax and allow myself to spend some money on fun, especially if it is within budget πŸ™‚

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      It is so funny and interesting to me how different people are when they get married. But isn’t it great to have that opposite to balance/keep everything in check?

  13. says

    Well, I just don’t spend money on myself. Anything I spend money on, it’s furthering the family. So, I guess in other words, me spending my money just helps him not spend so much money.

    I think the only piece of clothing I have purchased for myself in the last 8 years was a Enell sports bra last year. I needed it for all my working out – and I only got one.


    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      See? you are so totally like me! And Josh is my opposite. If I spend money on myself, I have to justify it somehow – how will this help the family? He justifies it too….but only after I ask him about it LOL!!

  14. says

    Oh yes, my husband and I are exact opposites when it comes to money. I think it’s how we were brought up. No more arguing though. I take care of most of the money and always have a lot in savings.

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      Very, very smart!! Having a budget and just spending what you allow saves so many arguments. We haven’t had time to budget lately….but when we do? It helps save us a TON of grief πŸ™‚

  15. Betsy Barnes says

    I’ve been married 25 years, yes, my hubby says his budgeted spending money goes towards the household. We have discussed this many years and I never understand his reasoning. Must be a guy thing, lol πŸ™‚

    • Annie @ Mama Dweeb says

      oh how funny Betsy! Thank you for sharing that πŸ™‚ So you are saying they never change? LOL!!

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