Dreaming of school and health and a clean house

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You are a wonderful mom. 

You are a wonderful mom. 


I chant to myself over and over today. 

Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit on the couch, coffee in hand, breathing deep and dreaming of a quiet, tidy house?  I had that moment today for about 10 seconds. Then sweet Lucy came up with a yellow plastic gingerbread man saying “Mommy, will you play Candy Lane wit me? Please?”

I put my coffee down, smile, take another deep breath, and organize the playing cards.  

“Lucy, first we need to pick up the living room! There is no where to play!” Which is met with a pout from the three year old. I roll my eyes and pick up the stuff around us so I can get back to playing as quickly as possible. 

I have this awful demon in my head. You know how everyone struggles with that one thing? That one thing that you don’t like to admit to struggling with cause you know it is wrong, but it is still there, and you fight it every day. I have her. Little miss judgement who says “mothers are chosen by God. You must serve your family by putting them first. This house of yours? It is atrocious! (Yes she uses that word. I think she’s a snob). Your family deserves better! And your children, it is your responsibility to train them to keep their toys tidy, to teach them self-discipline. What are you doing if this is not being taken care of?”

I immediately tell that liar to shut up. A messy house does not a failure of a mom make. 

In the cleanest corner of the living room, we play a rousing game of Candy Land. Then she dresses up in her new play dresses, and David asks for a drink of water. I ask him if apple juice is ok since our pipes are frozen and we don’t have water. 

Nope, no water. 

So not only has at least one member of our family been sick since Christmas Eve, (today it is Josh) we have no water. Thankfully we have plenty of leftovers and other things to drink. Plus, we have a spicket out by the chicken coop so I can bring in buckets of ice cold water for the toilet. 

Life could definitely be worse. 

After Candy Land and juice, I feel it again. That desire to scream. A child picks up a phone and plays the same game with that same annoying music. Then another turns on My Little Pony. The constant noise, the high pitched tones, they pound against my skull like fingernails on chalk board. 

“No more electronics! Play with your new toys, your old toys, I don’t care!” 

Sometimes in life, there is no quick, easy fix. Life is messy and you just get through the hard days  one challenge at a time.  So I silence the negativity, focus on the tiny blessings, breath deep and live. Only 2 more days until school starts again. Two more days until peace. 

Written by:: Annie

Annie Shultz has written 2054 post in this blog.

She is THE Mama Dweeb πŸ™‚ She created this blog back in 2009 and loves to inspire and connect with others through her writing. She also loves talking, dreaming, 90s pop and country music.


  1. says

    Wow! Annie! Your transparency and beauty never cease to minister to me. Thank you for putting into words how so many of us feel on a daily basis. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to put yourself out there. I am so honored to be on this journey with you. Even with all your flaws, you are filled with more grace, passion, patience and wisdom than you know. Hang in there, friend! Two more days!! You WILL make it!!

  2. says

    We definitely all have those days, some more than others. I’ve been so lazy this week, since the kids have no school and we have no where to go. I literally just kicked them off the TV to go play in their room, because they’ve been glued to it all week. Hang in there! It could be a whole lot worse.

    • says

      I think the apps and movies that I let them watch were annoying me more than my kids. Why do all kids shows and apps have high pitched voices?

  3. michelle says

    it is SO hard to overcome the negativity esp when you are tired, overwhelmed and have a never ending to do list. But it is at these times I think my children learn the most from me. All they remember is how I played with them, not how clean the house was..I just get down on the floor with them and play and try my hardest to ignore the mess, the chaos and be grateful for the little things.

    • says

      Thank you Michelle! I know my playing Candy Land with my daughter was so much more important than taking 15 minutes to clean up. πŸ™‚

  4. Laura McComb says

    I hear you! I keep reminding myself of something I saw on Pinterest “Please forgive the mess, my children are making memories!” I struggle with this myself….

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